Need some advice

Joe5.0 · 10-10-2006, 04:36 AM

Well long story short my gf of about 9 months broke up with me about 2 months ago. I loved her, had even bought a ring and planned on proposing this winter. She really is a great girl, but has some deepset trust & faith in other people issues.

I had just started dating again, and even met a couple cool girls. Nothing compared to my ex, but still something to get going again with.

Well my ex texted me last night, saying how she now realizes that I wasnt lying, and that she was sorry, basically. I called her, and after talking for a couple hours she admitted that she missed me and down deep wanted to get back with me.

Here's the thing, she started dating like a week or two after we broke up, and I hadnt. It does bug me that she right off the bat started going out again, but I still want to be with her regardless of that.

We had an AWESOME relationship, and she basically was the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Am I setting myself up to get beat down again? I still think about her everyday, and still love her alot, but can things ever work out after you've started seeing other people? I can be jealous, but right now I dont care that she dated some other guy, I just want to be with her.

Does this shit tend to never work out? Its alot more complicated than just typical bf/gf too, we work together and I have another ex of a couple yrs ago that works with me too.

I dunno, suggestions??

StangRacer · 10-10-2006, 05:37 AM

You could be leading yourself into another heartbreak, but who knows maybe she genuinely feels sorry and does want to be together again. Take what I say with a grain of salt as I do not know your ex and I don't want to make any judgement calls without knowing someone.

lab1702 · 10-10-2006, 06:56 AM

I think if I was in that situation, I'd be ok with this happening once.. if it happens again, I'd know it wasn't meant to be..

**BigWheelinBubba** · 10-10-2006, 07:20 AM

I forsee a love triangle and a bunch of jealousy between you and the guy shes been seeing.

Probably not what you wanted to hear, but if you're going to start seeing her again you should realize what you'd be dealing with.

357windsor · 10-10-2006, 08:40 AM

Take it very slow and see what happens.

Deuce450 · 10-10-2006, 08:57 AM

It can work out if your really ok with the fact you both were seeing other people. Now with that said If you worry about what she was doing after you or if she worries about what you were doing after her than no its domed. You have to go back into this with a clean slate, no picking up where you two left off. Just my two cents.

Joe5.0 · 10-10-2006, 01:18 PM

Well an update of sorts. Breakfast went good, barely could eat anything but it was nice to see her again. She's a horrible liar, so I know what she says is the truth. She basically has missed me since we broke up, and just now read a letter I wrote her a couple weeks after we broke up. She said she just realized that she was the one that had issues, not me, and that she would feel lucky if i took her back.

I told her that we cant just pick up where we were, but we also cant start fresh. I need to take it slow to make sure its what is best for me.

I really do love her, and I kinda knew why it happened like it did. She got scared because we had always been the perfect bf/gf, and she has had some not so nice stuff happen in her past that causes her to distrust what people say in general. She saw that since we broke up I continued to do the things that i said I was going to, and she started to understand that it wasnt me she didnt trust, it was herself.

So I guess we're gonna give it another shot. At this point I dont really care if its a bad decision or not. I always felt like she was the one for me, and if it takes some rocky times to get to the point where i want to be, it'll be worth it.

Plus you know what they say, let her leave - if she comes back she's yours forever, if she doesnt she never was yours. It says alot that she is willing to call me and really lay it on the line. She's a really smart girl, but stubborn as hell too. I figured one day she'd realize what she threw away, but i thought that she would be too proud to admit it. Guess I was wrong.

**BigWheelinBubba** · 10-10-2006, 01:24 PM

Sometimes its nice to be wrong

Good luck Joe!

StangRacer · 10-10-2006, 03:25 PM

I wish you the best Joe.

Xx96GTxX · 10-10-2006, 03:29 PM

good luck but as everyone said take it slow...

**BigWheelinBubba** · 10-10-2006, 03:39 PM

SIIHB

Hottie · 10-10-2006, 04:07 PM

If it's ment to be everything will work out!

good luck hun!

Joe5.0 · 10-10-2006, 07:05 PM

Thanks for the advice & support guys, I do appreciate it.

Well we talked some more today and yeah I'm very sure we're gonna try again. It is gonna be hard to go slow at first, but I'm going to have to. I have to be sure we are getting back together for the right reasons, not just because its easier than trying to find someone new.

She said some stuff that really surprised me, stuff that I didnt think she was doing after we broke up. Nothing bad, actually good stuff. I just think she freaked herself out because she felt that something bad would eventually happen, so she ran away from it. We'll see how it is the 2nd time around, hopefully we both have learned from it and can end up where we want to be.

Hottie · 10-10-2006, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe5.0

Thanks for the advice & support guys, I do appreciate it.

Well we talked some more today and yeah I'm very sure we're gonna try again. It is gonna be hard to go slow at first, but I'm going to have to. I have to be sure we are getting back together for the right reasons, not just because its easier than trying to find someone new.

She said some stuff that really surprised me, stuff that I didnt think she was doing after we broke up. Nothing bad, actually good stuff. I just think she freaked herself out because she felt that something bad would eventually happen, so she ran away from it. We'll see how it is the 2nd time around, hopefully we both have learned from it and can end up where we want to be.

you should talk to chris... he was in your situation not too long ago!

Lisa · 10-10-2006, 09:37 PM

Does this mean no more chicks mix? The ladies are going to be disappointed! Haha, jk.

But seriously, cool...hope it works out for you two.