Opinions or advice (kind of long)

Boomer! · 01-02-2007, 04:15 PM

Well the last few months have been crappy for me but things are looking better, sort of!!!

Here is my problem for he last month or two my old lady has changed ( for the worse ). Constant attitude to me and screaming at the kids, we have talk over and over again about with no results. I have noticed that her leaving for shopping trip are increasing as well as time she is gone. Multiple text messages when she is home and she always goes in another room to use the phone. She continues to talk about some guy she works with in her sleep, when I confronted her she says "nobody by that name works with her" yet I hear here talk about him here and there. Lately she has been asking me for stuff, new car, a new ring and to pay off some of her bills and get married.

When her and I met she told me why her and her a ex didn't work out and now I'm seeing the signs of the same things she did to him.

I have talked to a few buddies and they have their opinions, but I'm still unsure of what to do.

Most of them think she is going to take everything she can get and run, I don't know. Am I just blind ????

Any opinions or advice, please I won't get offended...

**BigWheelinBubba** · 01-02-2007, 04:18 PM

I was in the same situation with my ex, except we were together for 13 years so as obvious as it was to others i didn't want to see it myself.

I say run for the hills before it gets worse. It seems you've already tried to work things out and its not getting any better. Dragging it on any longer will just make things harder later.

Good luck

Xx96GTxX · 01-02-2007, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigWheelinBubba

I was in the same situation with my ex, except we were together for 13 years so as obvious as it was to others i didn't want to see it myself.

I say run for the hills before it gets worse. It seems you've already tried to work things out and its not getting any better. Dragging it on any longer will just make things harder later.

Good luck

I agree with Bubba, your freinds all see it and you prolly dont bc you dont want to admit it, run and dont look back!! Also just wondering did it start changing once your backl problems happened and you were always home?

Boomer! · 01-02-2007, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xx96GTxX

I agree with Bubba, your freinds all see it and you prolly dont bc you dont want to admit it, run and dont look back!! Also just wondering did it start changing once your backl problems happened and you were always home?

Yes, about three months ago when she started this job. The funny thing is I know how nieve(spelling) she is. The one thing I don't get is she has been talking about us getting married the whole time. It is weird because she has a jekyl and hyde personallity as of lately. She also won't leave because the explorer is in my name and that is the only thing she has to drive.
This is a hard decision to make , more for the kids than myself...

Thanks for the advice....

1Quick88 · 01-02-2007, 04:32 PM

Outsiders perspective always seems to be more accurate because the feelings aren't there. If talking to her about the issue doesnt seem to help things then maybe you should talk to her about you not being happy with how thigns are going and that maybe you two arnt right for eachother..maybe it will spark something in her head when you talk about splitting up and maybe she realize she has to change if she really wants it to work out between you to..then again my longest relationship is about a year and a half so i dont know how much i would listen to my advice anyways..lol btw How long have you 2 been together?

**BigWheelinBubba** · 01-02-2007, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1Quick88

Outsiders perspective always seems to be more accurate because the feelings aren't there. If talking to her about the issue doesnt seem to help things then maybe you should talk to her about you not being happy with how thigns are going and that maybe you two arnt right for eachother..maybe it will spark something in her head when you talk about splitting up and maybe she realize she has to change if she really wants it to work out between you to..then again my longest relationship is about a year and a half so i dont know how much i would listen to my advice anyways..lol btw How long have you 2 been together?

Fuck playing games.. you can't change someone, they have to change themselves. From what was said earlier his GF did the same kind of shit to her ex.. she's not going to change any time soon.

Crazzy_Al · 01-02-2007, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by white96GT

Well the last few months have been crappy for me but things are looking better, sort of!!!

Here is my problem for he last month or two my old lady has changed ( for the worse ). Constant attitude to me and screaming at the kids, we have talk over and over again about with no results. I have noticed that her leaving for shopping trip are increasing as well as time she is gone. Multiple text messages when she is home and she always goes in another room to use the phone. She continues to talk about some guy she works with in her sleep, when I confronted her she says "nobody by that name works with her" yet I hear here talk about him here and there. Lately she has been asking me for stuff, new car, a new ring and to pay off some of her bills and get married.

When her and I met she told me why her and her a ex didn't work out and now I'm seeing the signs of the same things she did to him.

I have talked to a few buddies and they have their opinions, but I'm still unsure of what to do.

Most of them think she is going to take everything she can get and run, I don't know. Am I just blind ????

Any opinions or advice, please I won't get offended...

Does she live with you? If so, kick her the fuck out. If it's her place, leave! Get out of that relationship!

**BigWheelinBubba** · 01-02-2007, 04:32 PM

One way to find out.. Try and borrow her cell phone to make a call and see how she reacts. If she gets defensive shes hiding something.

Crazzy_Al · 01-02-2007, 04:38 PM

Games are for sports players and I don't see anyone here wearing a number on their back. Get all of your shit back and end the relationship!

**BigWheelinBubba** · 01-02-2007, 04:42 PM

Bah you should've just said that then instead of complicating things

**BigWheelinBubba** · 01-02-2007, 04:47 PM

Lets be serious (stfu Al, i know you're gonna say you are serious lol) but lets try and help the guy.

Unfortunately im sure we all know how it feels to be in this situation.

Boomer! · 01-02-2007, 04:47 PM

It is my house, kicker her out would be tough because of my stepson, he would have no place to go as with her.. HA she would have no way to leave either....DAMN that sucks.
As for her phone, she never would be dumb enough to leave a number on there I would find as she know I caught my ex that way.
We have been together for 5 years so if I kick her out, she'll find her way to my family as her relatives all live hours from here.

I guess I'll have to put the hammer down.

Here is what I'll say tonight. No way are you getting a car, ring ,wedding or any of your bills paid with the way things are as of lately. If you don't like it there is the door, don't think for a minute that in a couple of weeks things are going to change. This will be something that will need to be prooven of a long period of time, not weeks but months or years.

I feel she will get my point ,if she leaves then I know she has bad intentions, if she stays I don't do a damn thing for her until she earns them.

This is going to be crazy...... wish me luck she'll be home any minute....

1Quick88 · 01-02-2007, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by white96GT

It is my house, kicker her out would be tough because of my stepson, he would have no place to go as with her.. HA she would have no way to leave either....DAMN that sucks.
As for her phone, she never would be dumb enough to leave a number on there I would find as she know I caught my ex that way.
We have been together for 5 years so if I kick her out, she'll find her way to my family as her relatives all live hours from here.

I guess I'll have to put the hammer down.

Here is what I'll say tonight. No way are you getting a car, ring ,wedding or any of your bills paid with the way things are as of lately. If you don't like it there is the door, don't think for a minute that in a couple of weeks things are going to change. This will be something that will need to be prooven of a long period of time, not weeks but months or years.

I feel she will get my point ,if she leaves then I know she has bad intentions, if she stays I don't do a damn thing for her until she earns them.

This is going to be crazy...... wish me luck she'll be home any minute....

Wish you all the luck man! Hope things work out for the best

**orangejuiced86** · 01-03-2007, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by white96GT

It is my house, kicker her out would be tough because of my stepson, he would have no place to go as with her.. HA she would have no way to leave either....DAMN that sucks.
As for her phone, she never would be dumb enough to leave a number on there I would find as she know I caught my ex that way.
We have been together for 5 years so if I kick her out, she'll find her way to my family as her relatives all live hours from here.

I guess I'll have to put the hammer down.

Here is what I'll say tonight. No way are you getting a car, ring ,wedding or any of your bills paid with the way things are as of lately. If you don't like it there is the door, don't think for a minute that in a couple of weeks things are going to change. This will be something that will need to be prooven of a long period of time, not weeks but months or years.

I feel she will get my point ,if she leaves then I know she has bad intentions, if she stays I don't do a damn thing for her until she earns them.

This is going to be crazy...... wish me luck she'll be home any minute....

So, you are married? You said stepson?? If you tell her this, she will change just to convince you. I strongly agree with the rest and say you should get the fuck out and stop being a damn door matt.

**BigWheelinBubba** · 01-02-2007, 04:49 PM